Disclaimer: The following does not reflect the opinions of Owen's mother...
It's been awhile since our last post, and so much has happened during this long winter that I thought I would update everyone on how Owen has been doing. Just before Christmas, Owen took up karate and has since become a ninja. This makes life difficult for our cats, on whom he practices his round-house kicks and sneak attacks.
Once he mastered his martial arts skills, Owen was approached by a secret branch of the army and was asked to become the next Captain America. After receiving a dose of the Super Soldier Serum, Owen developed incredible strength and the ability to regenerate. He also picked up an indestructible shield (which makes an awesome sled) to aid in his crime-fighting, but they haven't found a mask quite big enough to fit his head, so he hasn't developed a secret identity as of yet.
With his newfound physical abilities, NASA decided to train Owen to be an astronaut so that he could lead their newly formed division of Alien fighters. The zero gravity environment actually enhanced Owen's abilities (seeing as how he hasn't mastered the whole "walking" thing), because he can simply jump from place to place.
After saving the Earth from certain doom, however, Owen started to show his immaturity. He decided to team up with his cousin Ethan, and after going through waaaay too many fruit snacks and sippy cups of apple juice, the two of them bought a car and got caught going 15 mph in a 65 mph zone. When the cops pulled them over, Ethan just kept yelling "I'm a Rock Star!, I'm a Rock Star!", while Owen repeatedly tried to chew on the officers faces. They have been arrested and await trial in Los Angeles. They are being held in a romper room.
